Our grand inquisitor

Like some kind of Portuguese explorer looking for the spice islands of Indonesia, there are those who seem to feel the need to explore the further reaches of available toilets in the building. Have we not all witnessed a mysterious character who appears from nowhere and slips into your floor’s toilets every now and again? The toilet tourist. Perhaps they’re installing themselves as an envoy who will then start trading in exotic air freshener. So you walk in, catch eyes and pretend that this is all perfectly normal. All the while thinking that "we've got a live one here" and wondering how one ought to ask someone to put a can of air freshner to one side. Luckily, there don't seem to be too many of the professional freshners that are so trendy in even the least salubrious of areas in London.

Anyway, the heat continues despite entering autumn and we’ve been here for about 40 days. Now admittedly we’ve not exactly been fasting, but there are certainly temptations. Switzerland is our Diabolos and Lucerne the temptation to display divine powers. Perhaps it is the ghost of one particular procurator that still floats around on top of Pilatus who is preaching to us. Or else it’s the lack of golden leaves and silvery lakes, but there is a lure there. One that will no doubt draw us back.

Perhaps we are just being presented with options and too much freedom. Perhaps we are no longer needed in Switzerland and should go before the grand inquisitor straight away. No doubt drawing parallels like that should be enough in itself. After all, nobody’s killed Fyodor here, but it’s probably still worth holding some kind of trial. Of course, anyone who can appease a man's conscience can take his freedom away from him so we probably ought to be careful. We’ll embrace the bloodless, aged lips and make sure that choice still remains.

Or is this all just literary theft!